it’s kind of funny how everything seems to operate in a circle. my thoughts are constantly going round and round, i can hate the things i love and love the things i hate. really it seems like everything is playing on a loop, maybe a little variation to keep things fresh. everything is just flowing round within the circle of life.
so the scary conversation didn’t happen because i stealthily avoided it because i’m a little shit head. this conversation needsss to happen but i’m scared, so i got drunk instead. hehe whoops?
oh good lord i think shit is about to hit the fan. i’ve been avoiding a lotttt of problems lately and i think in about five minutes i’m gonna get called out on all of them by my parents. hopefully this turns out well and can get the ball rolling for my future plans… but i’m freaking scared to go confront this
Wow so I’m pretty sure I just got a modeling job with Snorg tees because of my tumblr/the chive. This is awesome! Who knew the internet could be so awesome?
spongebob christmas special, it’s going downnn! i got hot chocolate with marshmellows and a candy cane, popcorn, poptarts, weed, and fuzzy socks.
This is my first Thanksgiving alone and it’s pretty fucking depressing. Everyone has left and I’m here chilling. But I did realize I had some chicken and rice so at least I won’t be having ramen.
My thoughts are constantly contradicting themselves. Lately I’ve been really down on myself because I have put hardly any effort in school, I never sleep, smoking too much, not working out, etc. I need a huge kick in the ass. But at the same time, I’m living peacefully. I am happy to just relax and have fun. I feel like I’m getting too caught up in the pressures of what society expects me to do, and what my parents want of me. Honestly, even though I am incredibly excited to get started with my career, college does not feel like a good use of my time right now. I think the classroom setting is one of the most inefficient ways of learning, for me especially. I really want to travel and experience meeting people of different cultures, learn new ways of living. I want to work at countless random jobs throughout the world, earning what I need to support myself. The idea of just picking everything up and just going, just doing whatever I want is so delicious to me. I’m just not sure if I have the balls for it. I have big dreams but one of my worst fears is remaining a dreamer my entire life. I don’t want to be a middle aged adult still dreaming of escaping.
I’ve had a terrible cough and kidney pains for the past couple of days so I finally made an appointment at the wellness center tomorrow but it’s reaaal freaking early in the morning. I was all ready to go to bed nice and early and then discovered, oh fuck, registration is tonight. So now I have to stay up til who knows when and get annoyed at my computer blowing up. I think I’m joining the peace cor next year.
I’m sorry mom but I’m actually a lesbian and I’m moving out to Colorado to be with my girlfriend Mary Jane.
About to go watch a water polo match, this shall be the first game of water polo that I have watched. Should be great fun.
Have you ever taken a moment to just look around a crowded room, or just read people’s updates on Facebook, and thought “Haha wow everyone sucks real bad” I do that all the time. Then sometimes I wonder, is there anyone else in this room thinking the same thing? If so I’m gonna jump that mofo cause I’m cool. Which then makes me wonder, maybe these people aren’t so bad, maybe they’re just being sarcastic all the time and they don’t actually mean the dumb shit they say. Then I come to the conclusion, no they actually are dumb and everyone does suck. Except for me and a few select friends.
going through my stuff trying to find things to sell at the pawn shop. i’m a broke ass niggah these days lol